Dance Upon Injustice!

I had an amazing weekend at Youth Councils this weekend. It was amazing. God's presence was clear and felt, and He spoke in a great way. Although cold, very cold, I learned so much, and I feel closer to Him, now more than ever. The entire retreat had to do with the theme of "Dance Upon Injustice." We learned about injustices that happen throughout the world and in our neighborhoods that God calls us to fight against. One of the things I'm most passionate about is fighting against sexual trafficking, a subject that no one likes to discuss or realize happens all around us. I feel a STRONG calling to work with sexually trafficked victims in the future. I don't know if I'll be working with that quite yet, but I really want to. It's all in God's hands, but I'm sure God has called me to do something about it, even if I am not directly involved myself. One of th best sermons, was the one given by Captain Suzanne Hickman. She spoke about how we look through the window and know that what we are seeing is wrong and we should do something about it and we don't, and how we should open the window, step through, and do something when we know that what we are seeing is wrong. I especially think that this applies so strongly to youth today. So many things we observe today, we know are wrong, but society and media has made us numb and accepting of the fact that it is wrong and sinful. So much of what we see in the media today influences us, and we have to be strong and faithful to the message we have been called to proclaim. We cannot let the enemy fool us into believing what society tells us. We have to be lights among the oppressive darkness that surrounds us. I feel extremely revived and pumped after this weekend. I needed this renewal for my spirit, and am excited to let the love of Jesus shine through me and dance upon the injustices I am witness to everyday. I pray that I can remain strong, faithful, holy, and pumped to do whatever He has in store for me.

Life is great

So, yeah, God has been great to me these last couple of months. Since Argentina, a lot has happened. I've been doing alright in school, though I'm desperate for it to finish already. I'm excited to go to PR in May, and see my family and friends. I was accepted into the Argentina Hands On Mission Team. I wasn't accepted at first, but I knew that this was what God wanted me to do this summer, and He opened the doors. He has been so amazingly great to me. I can't wait for summer. I also can't wait for all the blessings He has planned for us. We're going to be working hard, but it's well worth it, to see the happiness and blessings we can bring through hard work, and I just want God's name to be lifted high. It's all for His kingdom. I also won second place in level 4 vocal at Star Search yesterday which I really wasn't expecting. I was shocked, I thought I would get third, so it was pretty exciting to win second. Anyway, that's pretty much all the good stuff that's happened to me lately. God bless, always!

GNY Tour in Argentina

Argentina is such an amazing country. I know we only got to see a tiny portion of the country, but I just feel in love with the people and the culture. It reminded me so much of Puerto Rico in it's warmth, literal and otherwise. It's actually summer over there, so it was extremely warm. Everyone was getting their tan on whenever we had the chance. It was hard work though. During the first four days, we barely had 8 hours of sleep. The schedule was extremely hectic. From the first day, arriving from the plane all sweaty and disgusting, we had to give a concert right away because our flight had been delayed 6 hours. I don't know how we did it, well actually I do, the Lord gave us the strength, adrenaline, and stamina we needed. Needless to say, we arrived to the hotel pretty late and had dinner at about 10:30-11:00 PM, and we then proceeded to our rooms and took baths and fell asleep for what felt like a couple of minutes when we had to wake up again to begin a new day. Needless to say, you can imagine how the rest of the schedule was. We had to work at a camp that has been left deteriorating, and we did as much as we could in a short amount of time. It looked pretty good after we were done. I only pray that they maintain it and keep on doing the work that we began. During the day that I gave my testimony, we were at a Catholic church that was beautiful, and when I was midway through my testimony, the lights began to dim and turn back on again until the electricity just went off. It was pretty dramatic, and I had to finish my testimony screaming to be heard, and with a flashlight someone dug out. It was pretty funny. Then, poor Scott Garman had to give his testimony right after me, so we had to pass the flashlight through the cramped stage where the band was, and he looked like one of those scary storytellers at camp with the flashlight illuminating his face. The concerts and open airs themselves were pretty good, always fun, even when we were bone tired, and it was so gratifying and humbling to hear people say that they had been touched and some even saved by the music and arts we took. I thank God so much for this experience. We also decided to do to offerings of love. The first offering went to the officers that had been stationed to "Parque Carpenter" (the camp we were restoring), three days before we arrived. It turns out that when they arrived to their new home, their children did not have beds, and their quarters were pretty bad. The officer began to cry when she was expressing her gratitude, and I began to cry as well. One of the many things this trip did for me was show me how EXTREMELY blessed we are. We have everything. The second offering we did was for one of the guys that always traveled with us and helped with anything and everything. His name is Lucas and he plays a brass instrument and won a scholarship to go to a music camp in the Central Territory, in Chicago. Unfortunately, we found out that this young man has cancer, and in Argentina, people have to pay for each time they receive medical attention and treatment. He had to pay for his next round of chemotherapies and radiation, and he was praying that God would provide. When we heard about this, we gave up all we had left and we gave it to him. This was the best moment of the entire trip. He burst into tears of gratitude, and everywhere one looked, there were tears streaming down our faces. It's such an amazing feeling when one knows that this small act of kindness means soooo much for another person. It's what we are called to do as Salvationists, and as Christians as well. We have to demonstrate our love and show kindness to others. It doesn't necessarily have to be with money, but just a smile and a hug, and a "God loves you," can change someone's life. I pray that I never forget that.

Blessing upon blessing...

I haven't written in a very long time. I guess I didn't feel very motivated and I'm not uch of a writer, but I feel like I should commit to doing something and this will help me. The last couple of months, ever since I moved here really, have been a struggle. But, I find myself looking toward the end of that dark tunnel and seeing that tiny shimmer of light, that glimmer of hope. And really, we all experience those dark moments where all we feel is a desperate need to run and hide and never come out. But unfortunately, the real world doesn't really let us do that. I've been up to a lot, but I'm not gonna go through all the details. I have about a year of college left, God willing, so I'm focusing on getting everything done. I just got back from the Argentina tour that the Greater New York Youth Band, Chorus, and Timbrels had from Feb. 15th-25th, and it was absolutely AMAZING! God worked His way through us in Argentina, in everything we did. I'll write a more detailed account soon, but right now, I have some schoolwork to catch up with. God bless!

Hectic life!!!

So... life has been wayyyyy too hectic lately. Hence the reason why I haven't been able to write in forever. Well, life in general has been very hard lately, what with college, church, divisional dance, and many other things, I haven't found time to have a life. Well, I can't say that I hate it, but sometimes it just feels way too overwhelming. Sometimes I look around me and ask myself how I got to this specific place and point in time. It's surreal to think that only a few months ago I was in a tiny little island with perfect weather and perfect beaches only fifteen minutes away from my dorm, and now I find myself all bundled up in layers of clothing trying to not feel the freezing cold seeping into my clothes, and sometime it feels like it reaches my bones, and it hasn't even gone down to like 20 yet. I don't know how my poor body will survive it. But anyway, I'm loving life, working hard, and have grown sooooo close to God, it amazes me. I can't believe how much I was missing out on. I can't believe I'm dancing again most of all. I had given it up, and I didn't want to dwell on that certain part of my past because it was too painful for me, but now, here I am, in New York City, dancing to praise the Lord. It's so awesome to be able to do what I love most to magnify and glorify Him. I know God has a plan for everything that happens in one's life, even when we don't realize or want something to happen. I now realize that everything that has happened has opened my eyes to a new beginning in Him, and a new beginning I hadn't given myself the opportunity to have. I guess you must be confused, but I know what I mean, lol. Well, it's late, and I just wanted to write a quick post. Can't wait for school to finish already, so good night, God bless, and blessings!

Just thinking...

I've been through a lot these past couple of months, and I've felt very discouraged at times. I guess it's my own fault that so many things have happened. I decided to move, and I know it's what the Lord wanted, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurt a lot to leave so many friends and my grandmother and sister behind. It's strange to live under my parents roof again, and to have to adhere to their rules, even though I'm 20. I know I have to cause they're my parents, but it's hard to get used to it when I was living by my own rules for 2 and a half years. Anyway, this isn't the reason I decided to write today. I've been having a spiritual struggle for a while, and I've been growing a lot, especially over the summer. I found it hard to forgive myself for so many sins and transgressions I've committed in my life, so I just stooped to committing more sins. It's illogical reasoning, I know, but I just feel so unworthy sometimes. I feel dirty, and therefore feel that He could never forgive me.I've heard many people say before that in order to live life after committing mistakes, especially sins, one must first ask the Lord for forgiveness, and then forgive oneself. Many times, I have forgotten this latter part of the equation. I keep thinking about my past transgressions, and I let them hold me back, but I have decided to forgive myself, and that is a really big step in my life. I know the Lord has forgiven me, and now that I have forgiven myself, I feel this weight off my shoulders. I hadn't realized how I was holding myself back from spiritual growth, but now that I have, I'm growing, and I'm understanding what God wants and needs from me. I have been praying a lot, and I have been very confused, but the Lord has made me aware of a small portion of His great plans for me. I have become the Divisional Youth Dance Company instructor. This is a very scary endeavor for me since I feel entirely inadequate to do this, but God knows what He's doing, and I'm putting myself in His hands, and doing what He wants me to do. Already I feel myself growing closer to Him each day, and I feel amazed. Even though, at times, I feel lonely and isolated from my friends, I'm happy that God is using me, and I can't believe how stubborn I was to not let Him have His way in my life before. Why was I so afraid to let Him enter and do what He wanted? He's more than sufficient to care for me, but it's a scary thing to do His will sometimes.
Anyway, I leave you with a short worship song that has touched my life greatly. It's simple, but strong, and true. It's in Spanish, but I'll translate it. It says the following:

"//Mas de Ti, menos de mi
Ruego hoy que hagas así
Mas de Tí, menos de mí//

Como la semilla que para brotar tiene que morir
Todo plan en mi corazón lo rindo hoy por servirte a Tí."

It basically says:

"//More of You, less of me
I pray today that there will be
More of You, and less of me.//

As the seed that in order to bloom needs to die,
Every plan in my heart, I surrender today, to serve You."

This is my prayer. I pray to be able to surrender all of myself to Him, that He may work through me and do as He wants. I think this should be everyone's prayer for their life.